Facing All Sides

So if you question the switch up, you may not have ever truly known me. Fluid Pisces, but water is water. Got new appreciation for my streets. Got new appreciation for my fam, for the ones whose blood pumps as much real as mine does, who will find me no matter how far I go, for makidada & sticking tight no matter, how hard they tried to keep us apart, for big cuzs who inspire so much daughter in me, especially the fave who occaisionally enlightens me to what it feels like to be babied. Lovin the hustle and the grind right now, & realized that this world don't revolve around art, and truth, & I'm lovin & hatin that too. In a strange mix of bedtime stories, hustlin hard, blocks, smoke, and libations, I can feel my mother & father, feel proud for who I am, & where I came from, not what I left behind. My dreams tell my old age is not likely in my cards, marriage, settling down, not for me, but it's still my life, for better & worse I love it for that. Lost some more who didn't die, felt the needed more space, the space of their world without me. To you all, that shit hurt, cut hard to know that I gave my best, & there wasn't a corner of your world for me, had to be disowned. Know also that the pain helped to teach me who I am, that my intelligence, and my vocabulary, is just a little part, & I never belonged in your world,& apparently you couldn't exist in mine. I asked to be loved or left the hell alone, you did, good look. I'm a woman without a country, fit in nowhere but easily accepted, more feared than loved, & I'll never know why, but I'm me, I'm me, I'm me, and das got me feelin like Celie, I'm here.